Believe it or not, we have a new contender for craziest character involved in the Oatmeal saga.
[If you're unfamiliar with the Carreon vs. Inman (Oatmeal) case, it goes like this: cartoonist (Oatmeal) received a ridiculous letter threatening a defamation lawsuit from FunnyJunk.com, represented by Charles Carreon. Carreon/FunnyJunk demanded $20,000 to settle. The Oatmeal responded by asking his readers to raise $20,000 for the NWF and American Cancer Society, whereupon he would send a picture of the money and a drawing of FunnyJunk's mother seducing a Kodiak bear. Oatmeal readers raised over $220,000 in a week. Carreon responded by suing Inman, the crowdsourcing platform he used to raise the money (Indiegogo), unnamed Does who allegedly impersonated Carreon on Twitter (Carreon has a registered servicemark in his name) and tried (unsuccessfully) to hack Carreon's website by trying to reset the password. The EFF has come to Inman's defense. You can read more about this twisted tale at Popehat.]
One of the most notorious vexatious litigants ever is Jonathan Lee Riches, a former federal convict known for filing over 2,600 insane pro se lawsuits against everyone from Mark Cuban to George W. Bush. My personal favorite was when he sued “Somalia pirates.” Recently, he’s been masquerading as “Gino Romano”, and filed a case last month accusing Kim Kardashian of being the Hamburglar… or something.
Now he enters the Oatmeal saga, moving — twice! — to intervene as Plaintiff, first donning the mask of “Gino Romano” and then “Gino Romano Carreon”, from two different addresses, and claiming to be Charles Carreon’s “stranged” brother. The reason he filed under “Gino Romano Carreon” in the second filing is likely because the day after his first filing, another judge enjoined him from filing under the “Gino Romano” alias.
Of course, none of what he says is remotely true – remember, he sued the Roman Empire, the Appalachian Trail, the Warsaw Pact, “Uniform Commercial Code, unknown authors of” (pay attention, sovereign citizens), www.backstreetboys.com, and former planet Pluto… in the same lawsuit – but the entertainment value on this one is up there.
Riches/Romano/”Carreon” claims, among other things, that he and Matthew Inman of The Oatmeal are “drinking buddies at AA meetings” and that Carreon plans to “gay marry” Riches in San “Fransico” before turning over the proceeds of the Carreon v. Inman suit to al-Qaeda.
Riches/Romano/”Carreon” claims in the first filing, in its entirety:
Comes now, Gino Romano, with newly discovered evidence, moves this Court to intervene in this litigation as a Plaintiff. I have juicy details related to this case. On 6/20/2012 Plaintiff Charles Carreon [threw] a cup of oatmeal in my face. I also have evidence taken on my I-Phone of Charles Carreon setting wild fires with matches in Colorado. I’m Gino Romano and I have numerous A/K/A’s on the Internet but it does not take a Einstein to figure me out. Charles Carreon joined Al-Qaeda on 2/14/2012 then Zawari #2 told Carreon to file this bogus lawsuit against Inman, Me & Inman are drinking buddies at AA meetings and I’m starting a cult of crowdfuding lawsuits nationwide. Charles Carreon told me personally to file 10 different Kim Kardashian lawsuits in 10 different jurisdictions, and Carreon told me it does not matter that the courts ban me, because alls I have to do is file another suit with a friend/ associate/ cult follower in their name, I file lawsuits nationwide because Carreon forced me to, sometimes at gun point, others with a buck knife, Carreon told me he is going to be Jerry Sanduskys appeal lawyer. I also intervene in this case to inform the Court that Carreon will use the funds if awarded in this case and give to his friend George Zimmerman in Florida if this case is ruled in his favor, so we cant let this happen. Carreon also has been giving pro-se legal advice to North Korean troops, and Carreon also conspired with Jared Lee Loughner in Tucson by brain washing Loughner and providing defense stragedys ,and Carreon had a affair with Amanda Knox at the Italian Embassy Valentines Day 2005, on June 3, 2009 Carreon murdered Carradine in Thai, and took his Star of David . [...] Carreon was named after Charles Manson I also personally saw Carreon shoplift at Staples in Tucson typing paper used to file this lawsuit. I seek a restraining order agaisnt Carreon just in case he counter sues me or defames my character in responding to my intervention by stating lies and unfacts about me, because he only assumes who I’m am, but really has no clue!
143 Roebling St. Suite 5
Brooklyn, NY 11211
The second filing, in its entirety:
Comes now, Gino Romano Carreon, moves this honorable Court to intervene with newly discovered evidence under Rule 24.
My name is Gino Romano Carreon and I’m the estranged brother of Plaintiff Charles Carreon and I will like to present my testimony and would like to speak because Charles Carreon is out of control with his litigation and possessed to file frivolous lawsuits. Last month I was at Charles Carreon’s home in Tuscon ,and I went into his attack and found a frivolous lawsuit manuscript written by Charles Carreon & Jonathan Lee Riches, with a singed pact agree-ment between Riches & Charles to file frivolous lawsuits in courts just to garnish attention and for self promotion. Charles told me personally that everythign in this lawsuit is a lie, and he just made up all the allegations against Inman & the Defendants. I’m whistle blowing on my brother just like David did to his brother Ted Kaczynsky exposing & turning in Ted’s manuscript, I’m doing the same. My brother Charles & Jonathan Lee Riches plan to same sex marry on the steps of San Fransico, and once marry, they are going to go on a litigation jihad and file frivolous lawsuits, like this one. I will also confess now on record that I had a affair with Charlers Carreons wife Tara Lynn Carreon , where we were secretly exchanging intimate emails on Sex.com and she had a affair with Charles Carreon with me at a Buddhist temple in Tibet. Charles Carreon knows this, thats why we are stranged , and thats how I found the manuscrpit because I was at his house packing out my belongings in his attack but I also found a letter Carreon addressed to his lover Riches that if he wins any damages in this lawsuit he is going to buy himself a hair piece and donate the rest to Al-Qaeda, which I cannot allow to happen, so I’m asking this Court to respectfully dismiss this case as a patriotic duty [...] and for the fact that Carreon is a liar, and everyones time is being wasted here. I respectfully pray this Court will grant my motion for relief.
Gino Romano Carreon
1617 John F. Kennedy Blvd
Philadelphia, PA 19103
Like Riches’ other 2,600 filings, the Court isn’t going to let this one in, either, as Riches is a vexatious litigant and needs to hold a lawyer’s hand or get a court’s permission before he files anything. And it’s (barely) the most insane thing anyone’s attempted to file in this lawsuit. He is right about one thing — everyone’s time is being wasted here.
I am not condoning frivolous lawsuits by anyone, but think it’s remarkable that even Jonathan Lee Riches is on the right side of this contest.
Update (July 2): Riches strikes again! This time, Riches impersonates Inman and files a separate lawsuit against Carreon in Arizona. Ken at Popehat has the filing — which includes breast enhancement surgery, Denny’s and, er, more oatmeal — and, being a former Federal prosecutor, believes that Riches may have finally done himself in by impersonating an actual person, rather than using one of his usual pseudonyms.
Update (December 5): Riches rides again?: Riches may be back to impersonating Charles Carreon in Federal court filings. A document apparently posted by Riches here purports to be a motion to intervene by “Charles Hernan Carreon” in a different trademark case related to the Oatmeal (Excelsrior Printing v. Inman). However, the document is not available on PACER, possibly because Riches isn’t allowed to file anything anywhere ever.
The “motion” reads:
Comes Now, Charles Hernan Carreon , pro-se, with newly discovered withheld evidence and I intervene as a Plaintiff . I was in the back parking lot of Excelsior Printing on valentines day 2012 and Matthew Inman sodomized me with funny junk and a Bety Boop comic book which bruised my anal. I was black and blue. Then Inman smacked my face with quaker oatmeal . Inman and film maker Nakoula Basseley Nakoula tatooed the Prophet Mohammed on my forehead and it was illegally wiretapped my Murdoch & news of the world and then Inman gave a joker outfit to James Eagan Holmes on July 19th, 2012 . James Holmes is innocent by the way. Inman used James Holmes weapons to kill hector macho camacho to rob him to use money to pay the electronic frontier foundation to defend him in this suit. Inman stole my party hat and made me sit in a corner with jack.Inman also plans to make comics of my wife Tara Lyn having sex with known serial killers like jared lee loughner, eric rudolph, anders breivik. I’m scared of Matthew Inman , he puts steroids in his oatmeal, and stole my peaces n cream from my grandma’s kitchen. I’m offended.